in search of venus

lavender blood flows through my veins
shifting and pumping through this
jumbled mess of a heart.
my skin now a pale grey
i crush what remains of my old self,
like a snake would shed it’s skin.
i hate my flesh and bones now,
but my limbs no longer break
not matter how hard i fall.
i keep trying to go back to how it was,
alone in a graveyard world,
dead laughter around me,
haunting like ringing bells
in an empty temple;
but peace has settled over me,
i despise it – i ache to
hear voices screaming at me,
anything is better than this screaming silence.
the red of my blood
turned to purple a while back,
when endless blue skies
made me their own.
I’ve got angel blood now love,
it burns like acid would.
cast aside are dreams for tomorrows,
i’m a gear in the system now,
i’m alive when it wants me to be.
clawing into my skin to draw out water,
i turn my insides out,
i’m in awe of the melancholy hue
which covers my fingers.
fascinating how things turn out,
i was never one for art,
now it’s all i long to be;
as immortal and just as dead.
i’m a slave to the archetype now,
with my life drained out.
hysteria settles over me,
I can’t be dead, i know I’m breathing;
i can’t be alive, i know I’m suffocating.
does it ever work this way?
do we ever get a chance to escape?
lavender is my blood now,
it burns through me like wildfire.